Tuesday, May 28, 2002
11:48 p.m.
A very tiring weekend. E3 for a few days and then 2 days of basketball. E3 was great. There were no super blockbuster hits like Metal Gear Solid 2, but I saw a lot of great games. These included Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance, Silent Hill 3, Gungrave, War of the Monsters, the new Zelda game, Metroid Prime, etc, etc. My personal favorite was DOA Extreme Volleyball. One of the floor models was actually pretty fun to talk to. I am infatuated right now. I think E3 does this to all my friends all the time. Makes us all push the bar a little bit higher for everything that we do.
Speaking of infatuation, it seems one of my friends feels something for another friend of mine. I find it pretty funny, but then I dunno. I wonder what will become of that. Everything's been pretty boring since E3 since I've set this bar up higher, so nosing around in other people's lives keeps me from falling asleep.
One of the great things is that I won a limited Platinum colored Gameboy Advanced at E3. This was great since I don't usually win any of this stuff. Most of the stuff I win is skill-based and I've finally won something that was luck based. It's just great to talk about it, but it's time to get back in gear once again because school's not over yet. Just a few more weeks and hopefully I'll be out of here.
Thursday, May 23, 2002
03:14 a.m.
E3!
I went to E3 today and it was pretty fun. I got some free stuff, but it was less than usual because I think there was just a lot more to see. We were actually stopping to play the games instead of running through it hardcore like we usually do.
Badges, badge holders.. bleh.. Still trying to get enough so that all my friends can enjoy the greatness that is E3. I think I can get one more, but it'll take a lot of time and effort on my part. One friend advises to just forget it, but then he's using my badge tomorrow already. I hope he's reading this because I wonder what he would say if it was his badge that I was getting tomorrow. Ha!
Tecmo is my favorite company at E3. It's been the best for the past few years, at least in my opinion. It's blatantly obvious why. The booth babes, of course. They're the best reason for E3.
Hrmm.. I guess I havn't studied for this midterm as much as I should have. Still procrastinating with only a few hours to go. But I think I'll do decently on it. I'm looking over my homework that I think I've almost got down.
Last night was pretty fun as well. Smash bros melee and then driving around. Details on that maybe later.
Women.. girls.. I've had this conversation with 2 people in the last 2 days. Why most girls do not like video games. The theory that I have come up with is that guys have grown to like video games in this generation. Girls have to compete against video games for the attention of their guy. So this behavior trait is passed on through the generation and now it's pretty stereotypical for a girl to not like video games though I still know a few that do (just to prove that I don't stereotype everything). Anyways, back to work.. and I'll need to think about whether or not I wish to initiate Plan E. Good fight, good night!
Monday, May 20, 2002
09:58 p.m.
One word... WOMEN.
Monday, May 20, 2002
09:39 a.m.
Hrmm... I've been waking up consistently at 8:30am when I go to sleep around 3:30pm. Was chilling with some friends last night after attempting to do some homework. I can't believe that I was actually trying to do homework early. It was fun though even though I got stuck on the third problem.
Hrmm.. things are weird. Yes, it is my turn to talk about girl problems. Well, referring to McD's journal, there's always a reason to not go after a girl. I hope he gets it going and goes after this girl. Because it would be great for him.
Sometimes you can't really do the things you would like to do though because it gets in the way of other people. It was funny how I had this plan that I had been formulating the entire weekend and one night of information makes the whole plan invalid. Not really invalid, but I can't do anything about it because of respect to friends and all that other bs and honor code that I live my life by.
Honor codes.. how funny they are. They don't really help you out in any way, but I do live my life by one. It's not really any sort of honor code, but there are some things that I won't do because of it. Of course, my honor code is pretty lax so it's not like it'll prevent me from being an evil person. As my friend told me, I'm a good person inside, but on the outside, I'm an evil, evil person. That sounds somewhat accurate. But now I'm totally off-subject (not like this thing had any subject to begin with).
But the week was pretty bad until we finally got to watch Star Wars Episode II. It was what I would call a "fun" movie, especially when watched with the bunch of friends that I went with. Friend I-ming got in line at 2pm for the 7pm showing allowing us to get decent seats.
Along with Star Wars, there was many a night of Warcraft 3. That game is evil and I'm sure that one day it will come back to haunt me. This Saturday, I actually got together a group of people for basketball. I thought I played better than I normally do so I'm pretty happy about the development of my basketball skills. There's still a long way to go, but if I keep playing like this, I'm sure I'll get to a skill level where I won't be a burden on my teammates anymore. Anyways, that is all for now.
Wednesday, May 15, 2002
01:02 p.m.
Havn't updated in awhile. I've been so busy. Anyways, from since I last updated, one of my roommates had a birthday. It looked like he enjoyed it. It was pretty tiring that weekend. Got tickets for Spiderman in the afternoon for an evening show and met friend aaron mccray during this weekend as well. Had a fun time playing some basketball and everyone was good until I found out that I failed a midterm.
Of course, everyone had failed the midterm and we had to take a take home midterm in order to make the curve look okay or something like that. The take home midterm was exactly the same as the in-class one. A normal person might think, "Oh since you know the questions, it's gotta be easier." Well, "SURPRISE!" It was one of the hardest things I've taken in a long, long time. I spent 7pm to 4am on Saturday and 3pm to 5am Sunday on this midterm and I wasn't able to finish it. It really was that hard.
Anyways, I have Star Wars: Episode II tickets in my pocket and I plan to watch that tomorrow. I've been really pooped out this week because I've basically had no weekend. Went driving last night and I feel better. Now it's time for me to get back in gear.
Monday, April 29, 2002
06:09 p.m.
I've been pretty pissed off this week, but it's getting better. Saturday was pretty productive, but Sunday pretty much sucked like hell. Saturday exploits included playing basketball, which is a good workout. We played for about two hours and we actually got a full-court 4on4 game where we knew every person that played. It was pretty fun. Afterwards, I drove my roomie out to buy a new car. He got a white 1991 Nissan 240SX. Very nice car. Watched some tv to close the night. Only bad thing was that I went to sleep way later than I had originally planned because of some not very interesting things that happened.
Sunday was pretty much wasted. I didn't get much studying done and most of the time was spent watching tv or playing video games. At least I finished studying the one homework that I didn't do. Need to finish up for the midterm tomorrow. That's about it....
Thursday, April 25, 2002
01:04 a.m.
What the hell is wrong with me right now? I have just said "screw it" to my homework. I'm listening to one song over and over again. I just want to lie down and die or something to that extent. As I was saying earlier, it's like life has ended for me. Why do I feel this way? I actually have no idea. All I can is that there's something wrong and yet I don't know what it is because there's actually nothing wrong. At least nothing I can think of at the moment. Maybe it's just a momen to depression or something like that. But then a simple moment of depression wouldn't last a few days. I've had trouble getting up for something at noon. That is strange since I'm normally up on time. I've pretty much given up on this homework before I even started. I basically did one problem and I'm not planning on doing anything else nor am I even going to hand in the one problem I did.
I would talk about this to something, but there's not really anythingto talk about since I don't even know what my problem is. I know the thoughts about that one girl have gotten me a bit depressed, which is really dumb since I havn't seen in a long, long time and she should mean absolutely nothing to me. I guess I'm still attached. What's dumb is that she doesn't affect me on a normal basis, but then when I have one stupid dream then it messes me up for a week. I think this happened last November as well. One thought and then everything falls into smoke. It's like she has some kind of power over me and what's stupid is that I havn't even talked to her recently. It was just a dumb dream. I wonder what would happen if I actually saw her in person. Maybe I'd really get messed up. Maybe I should give her a call again to see what's up? This is a pretty dumb scenario. I should just put this all aside and get back to a normal week where I'm actually doing stuff. I feel very idiotic letting this do all that crap to me. The stupidest part is that it's all me. The girl doesn't even have anything to do with it. What great mental control I have... It's time to do something about this. Okay, that's all because I can't think of anything else to write.
Thursday, April 25, 2002
12:29 a.m.
Boy, I feel retarded today. I had the need to procrastinate and I think it was all because of that stupid dream that I had couple of days ago. I just don't want to do anything since that dream. It's like my life ended, but it really hasn't. It's pretty stupid that a make-believe thought could cause so much distress in a person's life. It is really stupid and I should stop doing it. So I guess I will and it's time to do my homework even though it's late as hell and it means I'm not going to be getting to class ontime.....
Monday, April 22, 2002
01:03 p.m.
Driving is good to clear the mind. I drove around for about 30 minutes this morning. I'm glad my car is fun to drive. If I was still driving my dad's car, I don't think it would have done much. I came back and fell back into bed. Had some weird dream again, but it was just a scary dream so I had no problem going back to sleep. I feel bad about waking up my roomie this morning, but I guess I can't do anything about it right now.
Going at 50 mph down Sunset Blvd is great. I think I almost hit 60 at one time, but I controlled myself because I didn't want to drive in a blind rage. That usually causes accidents... especially when the listed speed limits were 25-35 mph. Everyone else was driving around 45. The turbo is great and it's a great way to get things off your mind. Handling was great as well. I'm glad that I have that car even though the gas mileage kinda sucks.
I'm still thinking a bit about that dream I had which kept me up, but I think it's okay now. Driving and then going back to sleep. I can't believe I missed class today. It's okay because it's a lower division java class. As long as I don't miss my important class, I think I should be doing okay. Hopefully someone will contact me about a job even though my resume kinda sucked. Well, that's about all for now.
Monday, April 22, 2002
05:10 a.m.
Strange, strange.. I don't even know why I'm up. I was peacefully sleeping and I woke up after having this weird dream. I don't think I've been wide awake like this for awhile after having a dream. Even scary dreams have kept me up for less than 30 seconds before I just closed by eyes and went back to sleep. I was just thinking and then I just decided to update this sucker because I couldn't sleep.
The dream was weird. The background scene was just basically flashing through areas in my past. I believe I was going to some ATM even though it looked more like a Macintosh monitor with an ATM keypad. It looked like the first scenario was the entrance to my elementary school. Very strange, but while I was using the ATM, some annoying, old lady was like "I don't know how to use the ATM, let me watch you do it." This was very illogical since I was not going to let some old bag see my password. I refused and she went to complain. Now for the interesting part of the dream. An old friend of mine from high school showed up and I don't think she recognized me at first. I wasn't sure it was her either at first, but I made a guess and asked her name. It matched and as I finished, I made a comment on her last name even though she hadn't said anything about it. Of course, she noticed and we started talking then she realized it was me. It was funny because somehow I found out that she was getting married and and her finace's last name was going to be something stupid like Kiwi. I woke up a bit while we were talking. I think the scene in the background was my grandma's room. I guess this kinda shocked me because she's classified as "the one that got away."
Well, the rest of the week went something like this. Homework and Warcraft 3. A very nice game. One professory continued his funny story and handed out pictures of a funny moment. I was able to procure one of this xeroxes for myself. On Friday, we watched the Scorpion King. Saturday was bball, video games, pizza, and tv. Today was eating at Monterey Park and chilling at friend's place.
It was a pretty good week, but then this just hits me and I can't seem to get back to sleep. I'm 100% awake and I don't think I've woken up like this for a long, long time. I guess I'm completely over this girl, but I guess the fact that she was getting married in the dream got to me. I don't believe she's getting married. She does have a boyfriend though. It shouldn't bother me at all, but it does. Maybe it's all the talk around me around about getting relationships and stuff. What's weird is that everytime I dream about this girl, it really, really gets to me. Last time was when I first moved into this apartment building. It got me pretty depressed until I called her up for no reason. I guess I might not be over her as much as I thought. I completely admit to myself that I still like her, both as a friend and more, but nothing's ever become of it ever since I knew her. She's nothing more than a friend. Maybe a very good friend, but that's about it.
One of my friends says that high school love is weird because everyone is still looking at things as if they were perfect. As in the couple will never break up, etc., etc. I wonder if I'm still thinking about her because of that. I thought that I was in complete control over my feelings for her, but once again I am proven wrong. I admit that I still like her, but then I havn't seen nor had any long talks with her for quite awhile. She's probably changed as much as I have or probably more since I don't believe that I've changed all that much from the days when I was hanging out this girl everyday of the week. Well, I had better try to get back to sleep because the typing seems as if it is keeping my roommate up. Okay never mind that... he moved to the living room. That kinda sucks.
It's too late to do anything about it now. That phrase kinda describes my current situation with that girl. What's stupid is that it accurately describes the academic troubles that I've got myself into. Maybe it's just a sign and I've woken up to it? But then again, I was never one to believe in the supernatural or fate or any of that mumbo jumbo. I need a breath of fresh air. I think I'm going to do some night driving.....
Wednesday, April 17, 2002
10:41 p.m.
Sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Poison.
Wednesday, April 17, 2002
01:42 a.m.
Once again another entry. It's been awhile since I've updated and I'm remembering back when I used to update twice a day. I don't even know what I talked about. Well, today I went to class, got confused and then finally understood what the homework was about. Too bad it was too late, but thanks to some new friends, I was able to finish.
Friends are great. One helped me out today. He watched my car in the two hour zone while I was in class. I don't think I would have made it to class on time or wihtout getting a ticket today without his help. I couldn't find any non time-limited spots at all and even all the on-campus parking spots were filled. Parking in that area pretty much sucks.
Anyways, I got a pedal for my keyboard on my bday and it's great. The keyboard I got a few bdays ago sounds like a real piano even without the weighted keys and without the full range of keys. I also got Gran Turismo 3, which is a great game. I guess I'll play it more when I have time even though I was completely goofing off today after class. Played a really long game of Warcraft III, which is great fun. I can't wait until they finish it up. I really want to see the final result.
Anyways, I was a bit disappointed with myself today. I was completely lost in one class nor did I really get any work done today that I wanted to. I also accidentally woke up a roommate of mine. Basically I've been screwing up. It's just one of those days. I'm not really feeling too depressed or anything. The past few days have been really hot. I think I'm getting dehydrated. Well, nothing else that I'm really feeling right now. I just want to move on ahead now.
Friday, April 12, 2002
01:16 a.m.
Well, here I go updating once again. I'm doing it on this date because I feel like it. Friends are great. I'm glad I have them. Many times I'm pretty sure I don't deserve good friends so I guess I need to work harder in life so at least I can feel like I belong in my circle of friends.
I finished my java project thanks to another friend. He helped me debug my mess of coding. I had most of the coding right except for some typos and a few command errors such as misplacing a semi-colon with a comma and I think I was missing some parentheses and stuff like that.
I'm taping a video of X-Japan right now so I'm going to be up for awhile so might has well keep typing away. I realize that typing these things up makes me think about all the stuff I've been going through and even though some of it is good stuff, it kinda makes me sad. I guess it might be because of all the other journal that I read while I'm typing my own up. As I said in the last entry, a lot of people write about their problems or other people's problems. I guess just reading all that is kinda sad. Of course, I'm pretty outwardly cold toward most people. I guess it's because I can easily shove these feelings aside. I guess that's good and bad. I'm not as easily motivated by these feelings, but then motivation can be a good thing at times. Sometimes I would like to be more motivated. I think I could accomplish so much more if I became really motivated. One of my roomies said that when I get into something I'm really serious about it and get it done quick and efficient. Unfortunately, that doesn't apply to most school work. Anyways, I don't feel like writing anymore now, maybe I'll type again tonight.
